For those of you who know me, and know me REALLY well, you also know that most of my personality traits were inherited from my father. Every so often I get a sneak peak at what I'm going to be like in 20+ years. Most of these occasions are marked with uncontrollable laughter and tears of complete joy. Today was no different. Today my father sent me an email, yes, he can email quite well now! I'm going to share this email with you, and I hope it brings you as many tears of laughter as it did for me and my sister.
Tamra has told me several times that I have a very unique way of putting my words on paper and often do it very well... I'm going to take a gander and guess this is also a trait I inherited from my father. I'll gladly take that as a compliment.
Tamra has told me several times that I have a very unique way of putting my words on paper and often do it very well... I'm going to take a gander and guess this is also a trait I inherited from my father. I'll gladly take that as a compliment.
Dad, I love you with all my heart.... thanks for giving me the best parts of you!
Here is the email, I hope you enjoy it! I know I did!
I know all of you are saying “poor Mikey, what’s he to do with Rhonda gone for 2 weeks?”
Well, yesterday I received a call at work from our landlord that the air conditioner repair guys were at the house and needed in to set the thermostats, so I left work about 30 minutes early. That’s when it all began. My normal exit off of 310 to river road was blocked with about 7 bazillion police cars, so I had to keep going and exit off of airline highway to get to the house. There is a bayou that runs parallel to the highway, and I saw 3 alligators. I like seeing them. When I got home, one of the a/c guys told me that all the police activity was due to a bank being robbed very close to our neighborhood, and they crashed on the exit during their getaway. They fled the scene into the swamps and woods. OK, I’m fine with that. So, I do my normal routine, have a couple beers, grill some pork chops, make a salad, take a few pictures of Millie and the chicks, and go on about my business. (Millie is our resident, very rare yellow crested night heron that is nesting in the swamp behind the house.) I eat dinner, clean up the kitchen,(cause I know Rhonda is watching me), get a dip-o-snuff, call Rhonda and tell her I love her, and kick back in my recliner for some “wild Russia” on animal planet. 9 o’clock comes too fast, and I hit the hay falling fast asleep as usual right? WRONG,WRONG,WRONG!!!
I feel like I’m asleep but hear the phone ringing and think…who the hell is calling me at this time of the night, it’s 9:45? I get up just in time to hear the answering machine click on, and it’s the St. Charles sheriff’s department with one of those tapped messages stating “WARNING! There is a fugitive bank robber in your area, black male, 6 feet 1 inches tall, wearing jeans and a grey shirt, covered in mud, last seen running westbound on foot in the Destrehan area headed towards the Red Brick Church. ARMED and DANGEROUS, call 911 immediately if you see this man.” Well, being the calm cool, and collective Bosque county boy that I am, I immediately panicked. Are the doors locked? Where are my guns? I immediately load my pellet gun, crap, that won’t do, he’s a bank robber. I reach in the drawer for the pistol, crap, Rhonda took it, I load the shotgun, crap, I think I forgot to lock my truck. I stand at the door with the gun and press the lock button about 40 times – horn honking each time (I bet I woke the neighbors up for a half mile), then I gather my thoughts. OK, so I’m cool. I load my 30-06 just in case and set it by the bed. I get my bow out of the case and nock an arrow, and put it beside the back door, just in case he comes in the back yard through the swamp.
At this point, my eyes are wide open as a dragon fly, but I decide to lay down anyway. I take the shotgun to bed with me and put it in the bed with me on Rhonda’s side. (I sure wish she was here to protect me.) As I lay there helpless, I hear every crack, bump, flicker, and everything in the house that I have never ever heard before. With only my eyeballs sticking out from under the covers, I see shadows moving all over the place, and then it happened…….the phone rang again, and I bumped my head on our 10 foot ceiling that we have in the bedroom. I grab the shotgun for protection on my way to the phone, but forget that I layed it on the nightstand beside the bed. I pick it up, again, just in time to hear the answering machine pick up again, and it’s the sheriffs department again stating “ the fugitive has been apprehended and is in the custody of the sheriffs department”. So you know me, I do my normal thing and make the statement that it sure was a good thing for him that he didn’t come to my house, I would of tore him apart. He don’t scare me.
So finally, I lay back down at 11:15 and immediately fall asleep by about 1 o’clock or so.
Yep, poor Mikey, what’s he to do while Rhonda’s gone?
Mike Cannon
I know all of you are saying “poor Mikey, what’s he to do with Rhonda gone for 2 weeks?”
Well, yesterday I received a call at work from our landlord that the air conditioner repair guys were at the house and needed in to set the thermostats, so I left work about 30 minutes early. That’s when it all began. My normal exit off of 310 to river road was blocked with about 7 bazillion police cars, so I had to keep going and exit off of airline highway to get to the house. There is a bayou that runs parallel to the highway, and I saw 3 alligators. I like seeing them. When I got home, one of the a/c guys told me that all the police activity was due to a bank being robbed very close to our neighborhood, and they crashed on the exit during their getaway. They fled the scene into the swamps and woods. OK, I’m fine with that. So, I do my normal routine, have a couple beers, grill some pork chops, make a salad, take a few pictures of Millie and the chicks, and go on about my business. (Millie is our resident, very rare yellow crested night heron that is nesting in the swamp behind the house.) I eat dinner, clean up the kitchen,(cause I know Rhonda is watching me), get a dip-o-snuff, call Rhonda and tell her I love her, and kick back in my recliner for some “wild Russia” on animal planet. 9 o’clock comes too fast, and I hit the hay falling fast asleep as usual right? WRONG,WRONG,WRONG!!!
I feel like I’m asleep but hear the phone ringing and think…who the hell is calling me at this time of the night, it’s 9:45? I get up just in time to hear the answering machine click on, and it’s the St. Charles sheriff’s department with one of those tapped messages stating “WARNING! There is a fugitive bank robber in your area, black male, 6 feet 1 inches tall, wearing jeans and a grey shirt, covered in mud, last seen running westbound on foot in the Destrehan area headed towards the Red Brick Church. ARMED and DANGEROUS, call 911 immediately if you see this man.” Well, being the calm cool, and collective Bosque county boy that I am, I immediately panicked. Are the doors locked? Where are my guns? I immediately load my pellet gun, crap, that won’t do, he’s a bank robber. I reach in the drawer for the pistol, crap, Rhonda took it, I load the shotgun, crap, I think I forgot to lock my truck. I stand at the door with the gun and press the lock button about 40 times – horn honking each time (I bet I woke the neighbors up for a half mile), then I gather my thoughts. OK, so I’m cool. I load my 30-06 just in case and set it by the bed. I get my bow out of the case and nock an arrow, and put it beside the back door, just in case he comes in the back yard through the swamp.
At this point, my eyes are wide open as a dragon fly, but I decide to lay down anyway. I take the shotgun to bed with me and put it in the bed with me on Rhonda’s side. (I sure wish she was here to protect me.) As I lay there helpless, I hear every crack, bump, flicker, and everything in the house that I have never ever heard before. With only my eyeballs sticking out from under the covers, I see shadows moving all over the place, and then it happened…….the phone rang again, and I bumped my head on our 10 foot ceiling that we have in the bedroom. I grab the shotgun for protection on my way to the phone, but forget that I layed it on the nightstand beside the bed. I pick it up, again, just in time to hear the answering machine pick up again, and it’s the sheriffs department again stating “ the fugitive has been apprehended and is in the custody of the sheriffs department”. So you know me, I do my normal thing and make the statement that it sure was a good thing for him that he didn’t come to my house, I would of tore him apart. He don’t scare me.
So finally, I lay back down at 11:15 and immediately fall asleep by about 1 o’clock or so.
Yep, poor Mikey, what’s he to do while Rhonda’s gone?
Mike Cannon
4 comments:
OMG - I'm rolling. I love the fact that he saw 3 alligators on the way home. And that he likes them. Freaking awesome. Love you Uncle Mikey.
That is the funniest thing I have ever read! Yes, Uncle Mike is pretty awesome!
You are blessed Miss Ashley :)
Your stories and your father's make my heart smile for you :)
OOO -
Kim
I love it!!! He is good and I think he needs a blog...lol
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